Let’s talk about some dos and don’ts when building self-trust. The first don’t that I want to throw out there is don’t commit to something without reflection — period. Most of us will say we’re going to start doing things — start the Couch to 5K program, start tracking our food, start going to the gym.
We just say we’re going to do these things; we don’t pause and reflect. One of the things I do with my coaching clients is I ask them to pause before committing to a goal and score themselves on a scale of 1 to 10 on the likelihood that they’re actually going to do it. What this does is it forces them to reflect on their previous behaviors and really kind of assess whether what they’re agreeing to is realistic.
For example, if I have a client who’s just starting out with her fitness, and she says, “Well, I’m going to go to the gym, and I’m going to try and get to the gym five days a week,” and she hasn’t been going at all, well, then I’ll say, “On a scale of 1 to 10, what are the chances you’re going to do that?”
Many times she’ll come back with, “Oh, you know, not real good — maybe a 5 or a 4.” I’ll say, “Well, what can we do to improve the chance that you’re going to do it?” We might agree that three days a week is something that is achievable. It’s important that, before you agree to something, you analyze it based on previous behavior.
You are the important one here, not anybody else. Keep in mind, it doesn’t matter if anyone else thinks you’re lying; if you don’t trust yourself, you’re not going to get moving in the right direction.
You have to believe yourself.
When you speak to yourself, you need to value those words. That’s going to come by reflecting on previous behaviors and making an honest assessment of if you will or will not do what you’re saying you will do.
That is what most people are missing; they just speak and they don’t think. They don’t value their words. You have to value your words.
Today, stop and reflect. On a scale of 1 to 10, where do you fall? 1 is Heather, I’m not doing this at all. 10 is oh, this is 100 percent going to happen. If you score anything below a 7, ask yourself, what can I tweak in this goal or this commitment I’m making to make it closer to a 7 to a 10?
Next week I’ll share part 2 of this three part series with you. Until then, let me know how you’re working on building self-trust in the comments below, or share with us on Facebook.